One of the earliest references to mentorship dates back more than 3000 years ago when Homer wrote about it in the Odyssey. While away fighting the Trojan war, Odysseus consigns the education of his young son Telemachus to his friend Mentor. The original concept paired these two mythical characters together for decades; it seems like Homer was on to something. I tend to agree; mentoring requires more of a constant interaction between people, more than traditional monthly meetings. Mentoring should be fluid, ongoing, natural, it should be more than just a random pairing.
Forty years ago, when I was starting out in my career, I learned of the term “mentor”. Back then it was prestigious if you had one, you had to be selected to be assigned a mentor. It was decided I didn’t qualify since it was only open to college graduates, (which I was not) or at least someone who it was decided had more promise. Ouch! Reminds me of the scene from the movie Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts tells her fellow street walker character played by Laura San Giacomo “We think you got a lot of potential Kit DeLuca”. You could argue that in spite of her occupation Kit needed someone to believe in her, after all how else could she break out of her perilous profession without some serious intervention.
Back to my beginnings ...Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t upset that I hadn’t been chosen, I was probably more relieved. I never planned too far into the future, certainly didn’t have a 5-year plan; the ever-popular interview question/mentor ice breaker. It seemed like another wasted mandatory meeting I didn’t want to attend; required to meet someone you barely knew who had a fancy title and that person would begin the process of grooming you for the climb up the corporate ladder.
I was always a student of OJT, I learned by doing, asking questions, and observing. Since I had not qualified for mentoring, I decided to set my sights on people I respected and tried to emulate their behavior, set the bar high, work harder than everyone else, and solve problems. After all it had worked for me in one of my first jobs. As I reflect on those early days, I realize that despite not being offered the regular time slot, I WAS being mentored and I HAD been mentored – it was just natural.
I didn’t set out to mentor Mary; I genuinely like to talk to people and when we first met I was pleasantly surprised at how open she was. There was an immediate trust that emanated between us. I could sense that she was an overachiever but not the “in your face” variety, just someone with an exuberance for learning. My unconventional background and career trajectory didn’t seem to bother her, but it may have allayed her fears of achieving what her pedigreed education falsely guarantees, a seat at the table. All tables are not created equal but I was comfortable at mine and I knew there would be a seat at whatever table she chose a seat at.
I like to think that I am a collector, not of priceless Picasso’s and Van Gogh’s but of smart people, and selfishly I thought about one day working with Mary. I don’t have the same opinion regarding millennials (a topic for another post) that seems to dominate the waves these days and she would wind up on my ever-growing list of people who defied the stereotypes of smart people, and I was sure she could teach me plenty but none of it would occur in monthly meetings.
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