I eventually did push a baby carriage, but it wasn’t until 10 years after the failed prediction; the stereotyping that incorrectly forecasted my goal of becoming pregnant at 21, which even now causes me to bristle. It was crucial to me that I was both emotionally and financially stable before I brought a child into this world. This didn’t mean that my career goals were finished, just on hold; I wanted to be home for the early phases of my son’s life.
I had risen to a respectable level in business by Corporate America’s standards, making VP and managing 13 people at a large financial services firm at a relatively young age. A few months after my promotion I resigned my position. Working as hard as I did for a title just didn’t hold any allure for me. A year later, I left the work force to raise my son after a few short-term consulting assignments. It was always my plan to one day return.
There is no wrong or right way to navigate your post pregnancy career. In current times, women go back much more quickly, anywhere from 3 months to my British friends who are afforded a year. For those of you out there who have doubts, one of my former clients from the UK has an incredibly successful career; she worked very hard to secure her place in her field despite missing two full years of work (not contiguous) due to maternity leave. I had one friend who left the workforce once her child was in middle school so she could experience those years up close and personal. For me my decision to return a decade later would have its challenges starting with – how am I going to get back in?
To say that it took me a while to return is no exaggeration, but 10 years later I started the climb back up my ladder, by beginning my search for a role in my chosen field as I would continue to curate my career on my terms. Realistically I was prepared to take a step back; not start over but not resume where I left off. All options were on the table; short term consulting at the top of the list; but engaging in a full-on ice plunge was also not out of the question for the right opportunity.
Many new mothers are afraid they will lose their place in line, sacrifice everything they worked so hard to achieve so it’s no surprise that people want to hear my 20+ year old story, especially after my considerable lapse. I think I gave them hope. Coming from the fast-paced tech/data field, I thought my rusty skills would hold me back, but I was a seasoned professional with myriad experiences under my belt working for firms small and large and that counted for something. But it really was employing basic strategies, my long-standing reputation and a lot of luck that revived my career; keep in mind this was pre social media with no LinkedIn. The pivotal point was when I received a call from my friend Steve who thought my experience aligned with a 6-month assignment he was trying to fill. And that’s how I got back in. Old fashioned connecting and I assume a rock-solid recommendation from my friend. Getting your foot in the door is the hardest but the most crucial, because once in, the opportunity to prove yourself is on you.
The day of the interview I met with the owner of the consulting firm, in his office on Wall Street (FiDi as they now call it) who I would wind up getting additional work from over the years (one a six-year assignment where I managed the engagement). Tom was someone who has been key in helping me move my career forward. To this day we remain friends and I am always grateful for the opportunities he afforded me. It was an easy-going conversation, the daily rate was extremely healthy, and I proceeded to hop a subway to Midtown to meet with his lead person on the account, who would determine if I was worthy enough to meet the client. Harriet was one of those people who I immediately bonded with, no BS as they say, straight shooter who exuded confidence as we sat outside an office building on Sixth Avenue with the fountains as a backdrop. I convinced her that I was a quick learner and if given the opportunity I would make her life easier, nothing was beneath me, I was not afraid of getting my hands dirty. I wanted to work my way up to sous chef (after all I was going to be her number 2) but for now I would be happy to be the dishwasher. I passed the test, and we took the elevator up to meet the client.
After meeting the client, I got the nod and started the next week. My first attempt at returning to work could not have been easier but as I reflect what was most surprising was how efficient it was, an experience you would never have today. A team of decisive people who trusted their gut and believed my work history was all the proof they needed got me back into the industry I had left 10 years prior. When I think about what employers put people through today with panels, esoteric questions about whether art should be taught in public school, interviews with WAY too many people, ill-trained HR people and pee tests, I would never have gotten a job under those restrictive standards. I wonder how many people like me end up getting lost in these overbearing bureaucratic policies. Ok, anyone who knows me knows I would definitely pass the pee test.
Right before the 6-month gig came to an end my client approached me with the offer of a full-time job. This was a prestigious firm known for their exemplary research, and I should have been thrilled, but it was not the right place for me. It would have been easy to just say yes but I respectfully turned her down. As much as I loved and respected my client (we are still dear friends, and she is one of the smartest people I have ever met) I preferred consulting over a full-time job as someone’s employee and we parted, promising to keep in touch.
I was figuratively “on the bench” and 4 days later on the most beautiful perfect weather of a day I would find myself at a meeting at my son’s school. As I stared out the window, I swear I’d never seen bluer skies; but too many cell phones ringing in unison caused an abrupt end to the meeting as I turned to my friend and said, “somethings’ wrong, let’s get out of here”. We would soon find out that the first plane had hit Tower 1 at the World Trade Center and the world would never be the same again and a day that had started out so glorious would forever be clouded by darkness. I had worked for 2 different companies in the 80’s at 1 WTC (one on the 88th floor) and it sent a chill down my spine; causing me to reflect that 4 days earlier I was a mere 8 miles away. I ran to my son’s classroom to check on him and see if he wanted to come home, but he chose to stay with his friends. I don’t think he understood the gravity of the situation, but he did eventually have fears about me returning to work in NYC. Thankfully I didn’t have anywhere to be, so I sat out the next six months with the intention to continue pursuing my return to work.
6 months later and Tom called with an offer of a 3-month consulting assignment, which I jumped at. While the events of 9/11 would never be far from memory, office life returned to some level of normalcy by that following March. I do remember many of us were skittish when fire engines would race by and the ordinary sounds of police sirens and ambulances that used to be considered NYC normal were causing anxiety levels to rise and more than a few times I found myself accompanying a colleague out of the building who had worked in Tower 2 and was suffering mild PTSD. I eventually settled in, there was a new client to impress and a busy project to attend to.
In the end, closing the gap in my work experience was achieved by humility, which seems like an anomaly for someone like me who projects a steely disposition. But my instincts guided me to get in the trenches besides my colleagues to prove my worth. Human nature doesn’t allow a successful comeback after a 10-year absence without it. I am in the end a team player and I like to think that attitude has served me well.
Comments